Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Attitude Adjustment

Whether it is deciding to stop eating candy for a week, not buying any books in the month of August, or only think nice things about people, it's all work.

Funny how I'm paying attention to this now. I guess I thought my mind worked like a magic wand - Nance, for the rest of this week you will only entertain good thoughts about people you love. Voila! Done. Then they do something completely ridiculous and that "good thought" idea begins to be erased by that thing, immediately followed by the Parade of Other Ridiculous Things that person has done which plays in my mind like a silent movie.

Really, how does that help me?

They say the things that bother you about other people are the things that bother you about yourself. Maybe so, but I also think that sometimes it's a bit of envy. You want to be able to do that. You want to be able to act completely indifferent and have all things go your way, just for one day. Just one.

You want to be able to not have time to do things because you are too busy taking care of you. You want your slack to be picked up by your eager attendant who doesn't complain, at least not to you. You wish you had All Things Important and the entourage to make the day beautiful for you, so you can continue to be busy taking care of yourself.

But do you?

I wonder if it's better to be that attendant, to be trailing behind, observing. You get to do the work, but that means you have the strength, the passion, the love for the role you play in that person's life. Or maybe you are the caregiver to those in the wake of that life. You are there for them, you provide the balance. You are the foundation keeping them together.

Seems like it's all how you look at it. You can look at yourself as being the pushover, the doormat, or the silent partner, the giver to the taker - the yin to the yang.

It's all about the attitude. Change the attitude and you become more at peace with yourself. You realize you do matter and what you do matters. You release yourself from what you thought were the ties that bind and become the satellite to their world, orbiting with them, there when they need you and floating contentedly when they don't.

Yeah, it's work. But the thoughts will be kinder and your sleep will improve and you writing will be happier.

It's better to be at peace with yourself than at war with those you love.

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