No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. -Aristotle

Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. -Edgar Allen Poe

You should never doubt what nobody is sure of. -Willy Wonka-

In the end, we all become stories. -Margaret Atwood


Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Chain of Events

Life is just one long chain of events, connecting one seemingly unrelated thing to another, one person to another, and if you are lucky along the way you will reconnect back to yourself.

As I look out my kitchen window to see the sky wake her sleepy eyes, I watch the magic of night tuck back into itself and release the day, full of bright hours of possibility. The spell of the night that holds our secrets and dares the realness of us to come out and play has vanished. We are now changed, slipping from the world of who we could become back into the world of who we are.

But who are we? Who are you?

The Caterpillar asks a very important question.

2012 was to be for me a Year of Change and although that mantra was meant for more physical change, the usual – more money, more time – what has happened has been spiritual, creating an emotional change unexpected but due, as predicted by astrology, but I did not know this at that time:

… If life became too ordinary for you in 2011, it’s time to change your script in 2012. What did you really come into this world to do? With Neptune moving back into your sign in February, many messages will come to you in the form of intimations, epiphanies, and other pieces of synchronicity. Take everything as it comes without second guessing or doubt…Trust that you are exactly where the Universe wants you to be.

Friday a Chain of Events led me to a tiny Occult shop named for one of my favorite flowers, which is simply why I went. The store owner was very standoffish when I entered.

“What shop are you from?”
“Excuse me?
“What shop are you from?”
“I don’t understand what you are asking.”
“My Guides tell me you have come here in search of something you cannot find elsewhere. What shop are you from? What do you practice?”

Your Guides? I was rooted, speechless, slightly peacocked, slightly insulted, and profoundly awed. The bit of practicality that remained within me said “of course, silly, why else would you enter a shop if not to find something you cannot find elsewhere?” but the overanalytical me couldn't leave it alone.

We talked for over an hour, about Christianity, Catholicism, Paganism, Wicca, Witchcraft, the Old Religions, the Burning Times. How the devil became a marketing tool to lure Catholics back into the religion they were leaving for the original Pagan Creed. We talked about critical parenting and the profound hold it can have through out your life if you don’t take Personal Responsibility. Personal Responsibility. It is not what, nor is it as easy, as you think to proclaim that you are personally responsible.

It means you are not a victim of your past. It means you do not assign your life issues to others.
It means you do not make excuses for your lack of money or time. It means you do not cry that your unemployment is due to the economy. It means you do not blame your obesity, dependency, or addiction, on circumstances. It means you claim Personal Responsibility. It means you Take Charge, you Regain Control, you Take Back Your Power. If you expect it from everyone else, why not yourself?

I went there to have my cards read. She wouldn’t do it. She said I wasn’t ready.

So here is someone that knew more about me when I crossed her threshold than I knew about myself. Other pieces of synchronicity. A new link in the Chain of Events.

“I want to write my book”, I told her. “Why do I sabotage my efforts? I know I’m good at it. Why do I not do it?”

“Personal Responsibility” she replied. “You need to make a decision and stay with it, follow it through. I can’t tell you which path to choose, which book to buy, when to sit and write, which doctrine to believe in, or who to trust as trust cannot be found in others unless it is within you first. You have to choose. You have to make a decision. You have to trust in yourself and the only way that will happen is if you actually make a decision. Succeed or not, just decide and follow through!

I felt myself unraveling.

I left the shop and was so out of myself I drove ¾ of the way home with my headlights off. After dark. And I wonder how others don’t know this when I pass them with their headlights off. I learned something. It’s not because we’re idiots. Sometimes there are things in our minds that are simply beyond us and the physical world becomes a carnival mirror. All that you thought of is not what you thought. This is why I believe in Presences, in Spirits, in Essences beyond, because I certainly didn’t drive myself home Friday night.

A Chain of Events that occurred while thinking of the Kingdom in my story, that took me to a physical place that if predicted, I would have refuted, and a spiritual place that if I had not visited that shop with the flower name, I would not have known I should in some way be a part of.

The Year of Change has begun. The Truth of Who I Am is being revealed to me in layers, soft petals of knowledge infused with the scent of inspiration, luring me to the center of power, to the center of myself.

2012 has just begun.

Bless Me, oh Goddesses and Gods,
Fuel me with Strength to be kind in deed and kinder in thought,
Feed me Patience for those I Love,
Deal me Courage to walk the day and take those new possibilities for my own personal enrichment,
Infuse me with Power, Confidence, and Trust that I need for myself.
Bless Me, oh Goddesses and Gods, Spirits and Angels, and Presences surrounding, Bless Me. Bless My Family.
Blessed Be.

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