Monday, April 11, 2011

Are You Happy?

How do you know? Are you feeding off someone else’s success or emotionally capitalizing on someone else’s failure or are you truly happy? Has anyone told you that you are not happy? Do you listen to yourself or do you take the cue from others who make you feel that you are not enough, that you will never be enough?

The American Dream is a sham. It’s the adult bullying of nyah, nyah, ha, ha, mine is better than yours. Oh, really? Well, I own a home and have raised two kids and one income is not enough. My house is shabby, my furniture is shabby, my new car is six years old and I’m still short money each month. All I’m trying to do is make ends meet but the ends don’t stretch enough to touch. Am I happy?

Yes. I. Am.

I’m happy being a mother even though my children who are no longer children have at many times in their lives hated me. I’m happy being a grandmother. I’m happy that I have a shabby house and a new six year old car and a job that tries to pay the bills. I’m happy because I’ve finally stopped listening to everyone else lie about how happy they think they are because I know some really are not but they force themselves to believe the untruth because it’s easier.

I’m happy because I know I can pick up a purple pen and write my heart out and afterward feel euphoric. I’m happy because I can sew a quilt or a cloth doll and a little outfit and get instant gratification of my talent. I’m happy because I have faith in God and in Spirits and because I believe in Presences and I know that His tests can really suck but I seem to learn some new thing after each one, if only I pay attention.

I’m happy because I’ve finally realized that even though I haven’t been infused with super powers that I am only human and the way I am is good enough for me.

I’m happy because even though things didn’t work out with my last boyfriend it was because he wasn’t the one, not because of some thing that I lack.

I’m happy because I believe we don’t die; we keep trying until we get it right and only then is heaven our reward.

I’m happy because I decided to list 100 things that I am happy about and when I read that list when I forget that I’m happy, I’m always surprised at what I wrote.

I’m happy because after I wrote this it made me happy so I decided to post it and ask you all…

Are You Happy? How do you know?

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