I used to think that things happened for a reason, but now I wonder if they just happen at random, that they’re not part of an eternal debt collected for past sins or a betrayal by the universe, they are simply random events.
While moving rocks in the yard last weekend, I wrenched my back so badly I couldn’t walk. I had to hold onto walls, chairs, and counters. Simple things were agony – carrying a mug of coffee, getting out of bed, bending. There are few activities one does during the day that don’t require bending. Thinking was out of the question, I was simply being. My mission, my only focus, was finding a position that didn’t cause pain.
I called my doctor Tuesday for physical therapy. They could fit me in the following Monday. Fit me in on Monday? I can’t wait until Monday, I’m in pain here! We’ll call if there is a cancellation. Who cancels physical therapy? The doctor also decided she needed to see me to determine if I should go to pt and during that visit told me my back was crooked, gave me prescriptions for Motrin and a muscle relaxer. So let’s just make me think there is no pain and not really deal with it.
I went to one session of physical therapy and I walked out in tears. They made it worse. Called the doctor back and they said well, if a few more sessions don’t help call us back and we’ll do something different.
I have been going to this doctor for years and taken every test recommended just to “be sure.” Spend boo-coo bucks on these tests – I know, my choice – but now I have a real problem and they ignore it.
So, I decided, fuck them. This is my back, my body, and they just want to make things easier for them but that isn’t caring about me now, is it.
So Thursday I looked for chiropractors. Miraculously, there is one 3.5 minutes from my house. They are closed Thursdays. I left a voicemail, and sent a "New Patient Request for Appointment" via email explaining my stupidity. Two hours later they had emailed back stating they would fit me in on Friday at 9:20 a.m. A morning appointment! Now these people care.
Friday morning I was in less pain but still crooked. I went to the appointment and was there for 2 hours. The doctor kept apologizing for keeping me there so long. Are you kidding, I said. You fit me in. I don’t mind at all. Then he tells me to come back this afternoon and we will go over my x-rays, come up with a treatment plan and try to align me.
I was so happy. I loved him immediately.
At my appointment, my x-rays told us my spine is misaligned, curved, to the side. He did a couple of adjustments and then I had heat therapy. My back feels so relaxed now, a little stiff in my lower back but that is to be expected. Bottom line – I can walk, bend, and carry a mug of coffee, without the assistance of Motrin or muscle relaxers. I’m on my way.
These random events might just happen to teach us that our way of thinking, of working in the yard, of primary care physicians, needs to change.
Maybe they teach us to have a little faith in ourselves. Be our own doctor. Heal ourselves. Whatever the case may be, things do happen for a reason.