Saturday, September 18, 2010

What Did I Say?

A couple of months ago I decided to attempt online dating. I have discovered: not all men are what they write in a profile, it is much easier to flirt when I am not looking directly at the person, I shouldn't flirt until I'm looking directly at the person because when we meet there is a chance I will be disappointed (although it is quite fun - the flirting and the meeting), men I don't want to date want to date me, and men I want to date only want me, they don't want to date me.

The following is an excerpt from an email I sent to a man I was interested in. My responses are italicized. He never wrote back. I must be stranger than I think.
I am so happy that I came across your profile. Even if we don’t hook up it’s refreshing to know there is someone else out there that thinks like I do. I even have a few comments.

I am involved in a discussion about whether fate exists or not- my point of view is that it is an interesting concept but I have a hard time believing that I am being guided by higher powers.

Doesn’t fate imply an end? "His fate was to forever push the stone uphill." Maybe in mythology, but in life isn’t there a choice? Sometimes people become what others tell them they are. "Due to her rebellious nature, she was fated to end up in jail." She could have made different choices, but if no one tried to show her a different way she wouldn’t have thought she was capable.
I prefer the term “kismet”, similar, but to me implies one is in control. I actually keep a blog as I like to write, and I address this in my headline.

I believe there is something grander than us, as well as a God, who oversees and walks with us. I was raised Catholic but am more spiritual in my beliefs. I believe there are the unseen – presences – that walk with us, sometimes right next to us but usually floating around to be sure all remains well and step in when they know they are needed. I fully defend this as my children had a few close calls when they were young, and may not have survived had I not paid heed to their instruction. Children are not meant to be gambled.

One can say that the things that work out well were 'meant to happen' while those that do not were 'meant to teach us something.' This is all well and good, but try to say the not-so-politically correct statement that God is guiding you. All of a sudden you could be labeled a religious nut in the liberal circles for essentially the same idea.

I’m not too big on labels anymore. I am who I am and I’m usually okay with it.

I also like it if a woman is unusual or quirky in some way. Even if you have animal skulls on display in your house, I might find that interesting as long as there are no human ones.

True: I used to work with a girl who walked in the woods behind her house and collected various types of poop. She would then try to figure out what animal left it and dissect it to find out what these critters ate. She also kept dead animals in her freezer – birds, mice, etc. Weird, huh?

I do not have all the answers, and not a professor type with facts and arguments promoting my point of view. I like to hear what others have to say- usually their points of view are just as valid as mine if we disagree. Its all in the interpretation anyway.

I love that you said this. It would be so nice to have a conversation about things others don’t talk about, with someone who isn’t arrogant, judgmental, or a know-it-all.

I am also very youthful in attitude- I used to drive to see houses with obscene amounts of Christmas lights with an old girlfriend. It seems that most 50 year olds don't do things like this.

I used to do this when my kids were young. Now they are not so interested and it isn’t as fun doing it alone.

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